I wear my heart on my sleeve. This is not a good thing. I have a habit of putting myself in other people's shoes. I make excuses for people and will wait for them to show up for a coffee or lunch date even if they do not let me know they are running late. I will sit for 30 minutes before I will double-check to see if they are still coming. I will allow them access to myself, as a healer and mentor, instead of saying: "I am sorry you have missed your appointment time you will need to reschedule."
"I was on zoom one day for thirty minutes waiting for the client to show up'" I finally shut it down just as the client contacted me and told me they were about to log on. I explained they would need to reschedule. Which of course is perfectly reasonable however I still felt guilty for days!" Sound familiar?
Learning how to balance my empathic soul and my business is a lesson I am learning as I go.
How do I take the amazing gifts of an Empath and create a safe environment for myself in my personal and business life?
How do I tell someone they are not living up to the agreements we set in place. Expectations, are so hard to balance when we began our relationships be that: with family, business, client, or romantic interest.
When we have a communication breakdown because we are being too nice, too forgiving, or making excuses for others because we know what they are going through are we dishonoring our self?
"I realized how much I did not value my personal time when my cousin told me she kept canceling our plans to go out for fun because she knew I did not mind."
What the "FUCK" was my reaction to that and I stopped making time for her in my life.
You have an obligation to put yourself first. The whole purpose of being here on earth is to learn how to love yourself, and your life, while finding joy and happiness in your day to day activities.
I have created some healthy boundaries with some of the people in my life but I still struggle with creating them if the person is a new friend, client, business partner, mentor, virtual assistant, or even just an acquaintance. It is that whole people-pleasing aspect of an empathic soul.
I love talking and I will let hours fly by and once off the phone or heading home I realize that I did not honor my schedule that day.
I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish and instead of stating that I only have X amount of time to give to that person I berate myself and worry about all the stuff I am going to have to add to my day tomorrow!
I have gotten good at saying "NO" when it is something I do not want to do, nor feel that it is in my best interest to pursue. I have mostly learned to have no expectations when it comes to other people in my life.
I am also truthful when I tell you I have lots of time to talk to you right now because I have nothing else on my plate today. So this blog is not meant for you!
However, there are still times in my life when I need to pull the plug and just say: "I have to go, get off the zoom if they are 5 minutes late, and insist they book another appointment as well as end-all of my appointments on time."
I am a procrastinator! When I have something I do not want to do, or do not feel comfortable doing it especially if I am just not in the mood to do it.
I walk into my kitchen and realize that if a client were to come today I would be embarrassed at the state of it. My client has to walk through my home to get to my office which is my living room. Come to think of it - when was the last time I actually dusted? Three cats running around - cat hair everywhere.
If I have a client I know has allergies, I remember to do a big clean and put the cats outside or in the garage. I am however lucky if I vacuum once a week especially now that clients no longer come to my home during these days of COVID.
Being an online entrepreneur has its advantages and disadvantages because I think we allow things to slide easier when it comes to our environment and time. Our office hours are so flexible that we forget to make sure we honor our time, family time, work time, and recreation time.
We work all week and then find yourself working on the weekend too. Be it catching up on things we had planned to do during the week, or doing household chores or yard work that we had meant to do in the evenings or early morning hours.
So I am learning how to recognize when I am allowing my "empathetic heart" to make excuses for those who are not honoring my time, my skills, my talents, nor listening to me when I am explaining what I required from them.
"Step up and put your needs first. You are worthy of love, and respect. Your time is valuable - so do not let anyone else treat you less then what you deserve."
Sending all of you Love and a three-minute hug, Robynn - Spirit Whisperer helping people connect to their heart, mind, body, and Soul.