I was walking the other morning and I noticed that I had two shadows. One was very dark and obvious and the other one was lighter and off to the side. At first I thought someone was behind me so I turned around.
No one there!
So I watched my shadows as I continued on my walk. I soon realized that it was the street lights that had created this second shadow as it disappeared as I turned the corner. I thought how strange that I had never noticed this before! And then I asked myself - why did I not take out my iPhone and take a picture of the double shadow?
I have not noticed the double shadow since but here is my thoughts on the matter. We all have two sides to us. The one we show up as in our careers, jobs, as a parent, sister, brother, mother, father, daughter, son and the list goes on.
This dark shadow is the most prominent one. It is the shadow we have been conditioned to show up in our daily life. It was the one we tried to perfect to make other people like us. To make our parents, spouse, boss etc. comfortable and happy with us.
This dark shadow is the one we have come so accustomed to that we tend to forget that there is another side to us. A lighter side, the quiet shadow, the one that stays out of other peoples way. The one that quietly walks behind us as our prominent shadow moves through the world for us.
I spent the day in retrospect about this double shadow showing up on a day that I was questioning my purpose, my place in the world. My dreams have been all over the place from problem solving, exhausted and then on another morning waking up feeling great about who I am. I am in a flux state. I know what I love to do. I know what my skills, gifts and talents are and how I want to show up in the world.
My dilemma is that I have no idea how to do just that: Show UP! How do we share who we are, how do we explain our gifts and talents, how do we put a price on the skills and artistry of our craft?
My website is being recreated as I write this blog and I am supposed to tell you about myself. I know it might seem simple to some but coming from an environment that did not celebrate our uniqueness as children. You known - be seen and not heard- childhood. I never learned how to express what I wanted or needed to others.
The weird thing is that nobody asked me either. Nobody said: Robynn what do you want to be when you grow up? I was told my place in the world was to go to church get married and have babies. When I did something wrong my things would be taken away from me. My favorite dress, doll, activity like dance lessons. I learned to never ask, to never hope, and never express to anyone when I was excited or happy about anything in my life.
My whole life was about existing without hope, dreaming of a future was never a thought or even an idea of possibility, never being able to trust my true emotions with anyone or about anything was my reality. WOW that sucked!
So here I am finally living a life I love, being who I want to be around everyone, never making excuses, never asking for permission, and learning to step into my personal power. But trying to come up with a paragraph about me to put on the front page of my website has me stumped!
So let me try here and if my website creator likes it then he can put it on the front page.
As a child I always knew when people were being nice to me or just tolerating my presence. I had no desire to play the game of 'I like you today and tomorrow I will no longer be your friend.' I was always more comfortable in my own company preferring to read books.
Boys would pretend to like me and then ask out the few girlfriends I tried to have in my life. So I eventually just stopped trying to make friends. I was always nice to people but I had no expectations of creating a relationship with anyone I met.
I was always shocked when a guy actually wanted to date me. But then it always turned out to just be about sex. I came to the conclusion that if I wanted to have company in my life then I would have to tolerate sex. My purpose in a relationship always became about making them happy.
You see, I had never been given choices in my childhood. My opinion was never asked for. I was told what to do and when to do it and how to do it. When you grow up that way it takes a very long time to learn how to be independent, how to make decisions, how to say NO! Now that was a big one and I was in my 40's when I finally found the courage to say NO! mean it and stick with it. This courageous act came about because I started looking into spirituality in my late 30's.
I dived into WICCA which was all about the God and Goddess resulting in self empowerment. I started taking spiritual and healing courses discovering that I had the healing arts in my DNA.
I started meditating and discovered I could talk to the Deva's of nature, Angels, God & Goddesses. I could channel information and created a format that kept me moving forward on my path which eventually became a course I named "The Pathways's to the Soul".
My path has had lots of ups and downs. I have lost my way and stopped at the fork in the road so long that moss started growing on my ass.
I attracted narcissists in my life until I recognized and learned the Soul lesson of Self Love. Truth be told I am still working on Self Love, I am not sure we are every truly 100% confident 24/7 but hey if you are let me know what your secret is.
I am an amazing listener, I hear things that are not being said, I can speak to your Soul and your spirit guides during healing sessions. I have the ability of mediumship especially during energy healing sessions. I connect to the Angels daily, my spirit guides and the healers on the other-side who work with me.
I share my oracle reading gift during the week on FB lives, and the fee's for my private oracle readings, mediumship and healing skills are very reasonable because I believe everyone should be able to get the information and healing session they require.
When you want to press the restart button and look at your negative patterns. Take responsibility for changing your life and be willing to do the homework required to do just that then the "Akashic Records" soul reading is for you. It is a higher fee because it is a deep dive into the Akashic records and it takes me 5 to 6 hours to get all the information together and into a report to present to you. It can take me a few days to get it all typed up depending on how busy my schedule is. We then spend at least an hour going over the report, your homework, and this also includes two follow up calls.
My philosophy on the Akashic records: the information I ask for is the seeds of the onion you planted and continued to grown around the original negative patterns. By going into the records and getting this information - the seeds of truth, then we can start peeling the onion from the inside out. Archangel Metatron is the head librarian of the Akashic records and he and I work together to compile the information that you need to know right now to start changing your life.
Just know that if you want someone in your corner that is going to tell you the truth, and help you stay out of victim mode or excuse I'tis then I am your person. Everything I do comes from the heart. All healing sessions, and readings are channeled through love and the Angels. Protection energy from Archangel Micheal is brought in before our sessions and any work done in the Akashic records.
I am sixty one years young. I am living in my amazing home I purchased by myself. I live with my three cats, and if you understand magic and mysticism then the three cats will make perfect sense to you. I have numerous animal guides, Dragons, and Fairies that share my sacred space. The Goddesses spend time here as well, as my home is built on a sacred portal that is still used today.
I was led to this house by my Spirit Guides and am truly grateful that I have learned how to listen and be receptive to that inner voice and knowing that comes over one when we are truly in-tune to the spiritual world.
We all have sacred gifts and talents our Soul brought into this world, so why not explore them and discover who you are at Soul level. Thank you for reading my blog.